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Finding ThingsBy Sandra Tayler
In our house I am the person who finds things. If the kids lose their shoes, they come to me. If Howard misplaces a book he comes to me. Most of the time I can find the missing item in a fairly short span of time. There are times when I can find things that belong to Howard which I've only seen once, several months ago. It is almost uncanny at times. I don't know how I do it either. It is probably due to the fact that this is my house and I've done most of the organization here. Also the things that are moved, get moved by my people and I know where they are likely to put things. Whatever magic alchemy that occurs to allow me to find things, takes place on a subconscious level. I can't just stand in one place and tell you where the object is. I have to wander around until I suddenly know exactly where to go get it.
One evening Howard began packing his things for a trip to California. He needed a couple of gym bags that neither of us had seen for several months. Because I wanted to know how my finding sense works, I tasked a small piece of my brain to observe while the finding portions of my brain went into action. Howard had already searched for the bags. I knew this, but I still started in his office where he had already looked. I knew the bag would not be there, but the process of looking through the office triggered something. I knew that the next place I needed to look was with our luggage in the storage room. Sure enough one of the two bags was there. I went to our room to search our closet for the second bag. It was an unlikely place for it now, but last year it ended up there a lot. The bag was not there. I re-searched the luggage storage which triggered a memory of the second bag being out in the garage near the bikes. Sure enough, there it was.
Watching the process was fascinating. None of it was verbal or logical. I had to see and touch things in order to trigger the necessary memories to direct me where to go. I've previously noticed that it is much easier for me to go and get something than for me to describe where it is. This means I tend to jump at the beck and call of my kids who need to find their shoes (which are usually "lost" in plain sight.) I'm trying to make them do more of their own looking, but younger children honestly can not recognize the shape of a shoe if it is half covered by a blanket. The pattern recognition faculties just aren't sufficiently developed yet.
I think that no matter where I am or what I am doing parts of my brain are cataloging objects and locations against possible future need. We’re always searching for shoes and hairbrushes, so my brain always notes their locations when I happen across them. This same process will identify anomalies and bring them to my direct attention. I don't consciously notice shoes scattered on the family room floor. That is normal. But if one of Gleek's shoes is on the windowsill I notice it enough to wonder why it is there. Then when the kids come to me asking for their shoes, I can tell Gleek exactly where her shoe is, but I'll have to physically go look for the other ones because I never consciously noted them.
The ability is at times uncanny. Like the time that Howard asked for his goggles. We were standing in the kitchen and I had no idea where to look for the goggles. I had seen them only once about a month previous. Without thinking any further, I walked down the stairs, into Howard’s office, picked up the goggles from behind a pile of other stuff on the bookshelf, and brought them back upstairs. It was uncanny. I went from no-clue to object-in-hand within about 30 seconds.
But my finding capabilities are not infallible. Sometimes I rummage through the house thoroughly without turning up the desired object or finding a clue where it might be. This thoroughly frustrates my children. The younger ones will even get mad at me. They seem to think that I haven’t found it because I don’t want to, not because I can’t. Ah the faith of children in the super capabilities of their Mother. The not-finding also irritates me. I’m used to being able to find things. Sometimes I can just sigh and say “It will turn up.” Other times I can’t seem to let it go and I’ll continue to poke all over the house trying to trigger a memory of where the thing might be.
I was talking to a friend recently and she was lamenting the fact that she does not have the Magic-Mommy finding capability. I told her that I did and she asked me earnestly where I got it. I’m not sure of the answer to that. I know that some people lose things constantly. I have a neighbor who has given me a key to her house because she constantly misplaces hers. With only a couple of notable exceptions, I’ve never been one to lose keys or wallets. This inclines me to think that there is an inherent component in this finding ability. Perhaps some people are naturally “finders.” On the other hand I did not used to be this supernaturally good at finding things. I could keep track of my own things, but not anyone else’s. Now there are times where I’ve been in someone else’s house and located an item they were looking for. The fact that I’ve gotten better at this, points to a learned component of the capability. I just wish I knew how to teach it to my kids so they could find their own stuff and not bug me so often.
Copyright Sandra Tayler 2007
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